The word “foreplay” conjures up images as varied as the people who participate in it. From whipped cream to whips & chains, french kisses to french corsets, positions named after animals to the animals themselves, getting in the mood to make love is only limited by the one’s imagination.
Set the Mood
Great lengths can be taken to create the right mood. You purchase body oils and creams, strategically position scented candles around the home, create a walkway of rose petals from the door to the bed, chill a magnum of the finest Veuve Clicquot champagne, purchase edible fruit underwear, update the love song playlist on the smartphone and wait for the magic to happen.
I am a strong advocate of keeping romance alive in a marriage. You must avoid getting into a rut of routine, at all costs. A rut in the bedroom can lead to boredom. And once your sex life becomes boring, you’re creating an opportunity for someone else to come and spark excitement in your spouse.
Foreplay Epiphany
I recently had a foreplay epiphany. While doing kinky stuff like ropes and handcuffs is always a plus, there is an older, less intense way to begin foreplay long before you’ve contemplated your big finish. Just good, old fashioned hand holding.
The significance of holding hands cannot be overstated. It seems so corny and ironically “routine,” but in actuality it’s a dying art form. It’s so rare, that when you think about your response to a couple holding hands it normally falls along the lines of:
- “Oh, young love,” or
- “Oh, they must still be dating,” or
- “Boy, do they seem happy.”
The Path to the Heart
What is it about holding hands that elicits those responses?
Some say hearts can speak to one another through the hand. I’m not sure if that’s the case, but there is an openness that is required when you hold hands.
When you’re angry with someone and they reach out to make up, the first thing you say is, “Don’t touch me.” Why? It’s difficult to remain upset with someone you love when you embrace or hold hands.
Holding hands is almost equivalent to an intimacy meter. The level of your intimacy can at times be determined by how often and how comfortable you are simply holding hands with your spouse/ mate.
While I will always be a fan of chocolate and blindfolds, there is a lot to be said for having hand holding in the foreplay arsenal.
How often do you hold hands?
Rev. Robinson – Love God, Love People
Rev. Elliott Robinson, JD, MDiv 